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    Home » Thoughts » Ramblings

    My Mandoline Tried To Kill Me...Again

    Published: May 14, 2020 · Modified: May 11, 2020 by Mike Vrobel · This post may contain affiliate links · 7 Comments

    Orange mandoline on a black surface with dramatic lighting
    Mandoline of DEATH

    My mandoline is a death machine, just waiting for me to slip up and feed its blood thirst. But it makes such evenly sliced potatoes!

    Every time I use it, it wants a sacrifice. So much so that I've nicknamed it Audrey II:

    Feed Me Seymour (Little Shop of Horrors) [Youtube.com]

    I know I should use the hand guard…but the potatoes are so small that they disappear into it. I know I should wear a cut-proof glove...but mine got chewed up the last time the bloodthirsty mandoline wanted a piece of me, and I never actually got around to ordering a replacement. It's fine. I'll be careful. I know what I'm doing.

    Everything was going fine until the potato stuck. And my hand slipped. And oh no my index finger...

    <No pictures because ew, you don't want to see this.>

    My finger is healing…but it hurts to type the letters "N" and "M" because of where the cut is. Ow, ow, ow. That’s right, I’m suffering for my art.

    But the potatoes - they are so evenly sliced. I put Audrey II back in the cabinet, and ordered a new cut-resistant glove on Amazon.

    There it sits, in its box. Waiting. Waiting for the next time I get sloppy, and let my guard down for a second. Waiting for its next chance to strike.

    Ow.

    Amazon affiliate links:

    • My…favorite?…mandoline: Swissmar Borner V-Slicer
    • Trust me, buy a cut-resistant glove: NoCry Cut Resistant Glove
    • Why I need evenly sliced potatoes: Cast Iron Spiral Skillet Potatoes

    Related Posts

    Cast Iron Spiral Skillet Potatoes
    Things I Can Never Have Enough Of In My Kitchen
    Review: Ceramic Knives
    My other Instant Pot Pressure Cooker Recipes

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    « Instant Pot Chicken Drumsticks with Potatoes
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    Reader Interactions

    Comments

    1. Tim C says

      May 26, 2020 at 4:19 pm

      I vote nail gun!

      Love your site, Mike. Thanks for the constant inspiration.

      Still, I'd kinda like to see that finger...

      Reply
    2. Esther L Sawyer says

      May 21, 2020 at 6:19 pm

      I've sliced a piece of thumb of before. I was slugging potatoes and had a groove going. I could see my thumb getting real close to the blade but I seemed to be in a trance and couldn't couldn'tstop myself. Feed Me Seemo!

      Reply
    3. low and slow says

      May 14, 2020 at 5:11 pm

      You're not alone on this one,in March I cutting cabbage for some slaw and shaved the tip of my finger off.Although it really didn't hurt much it wouldn't stop bleeding and ended up with a visit to E.R. Suggestion- do not operate while impaired.

      Reply
      • Mike Vrobel says

        May 14, 2020 at 5:20 pm

        “Do not operate while impaired” - ha! Where’s the fun in that? 😉

        Reply
    4. Colleen Kelly says

      May 14, 2020 at 4:52 pm

      I am 5ft 3inches. The small gloves are too large for me. The palm of my hand is under 3 inches ... I have tried a couple of the gloves but they just fit my hand like an oversized t-shirt and cause accidents. Sigh ... wish I could find some that actually fit me.

      But I am definitely with you on slicing taters for my 150 year old cast iron skillet. (A precious gift from a friend whose grandmother used it from when she 1st got married and the cast mark on the bottom says it is near that age). What a treasure.

      Reply
    5. Ron says

      May 14, 2020 at 4:24 pm

      In a way, I'm glad to hear about your experience. I had assumed I just didn't know how to properly use my hand guillotine. I've decided to stick it in a drawer with my power nail gun just to see which one comes out the winner.

      In other words, I've retired mine after it went through its third pair of protective gloves.

      Reply
      • Mike Vrobel says

        May 14, 2020 at 4:31 pm

        “Hand guillotine” - ha!

        Reply

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